Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Do you ever slow down enough to contemplate the intricacies of your life? How every moment is a small scene you're acting in within a bigger motion picture you won't get to watch until the movie is complete? How every interaction you've ever had, whether a source of love or pain, has been the thread by which you have woven together the tapestry of your existence here? How we are all just characters in a play, connected through some invisible spider web we like to call fate?

These themes cross my mind from time to time. Over the last month, the interconnection has been a steady thought permeating my life just as blood runs through my veins. I can't help but reflect on how the unfortunate took my hand, leading me to the fortunate while the fortunate pushed me to misfortune. Then it circles back around again in this cosmic, tribal dance around a sacred fire that has burned as long as the material universe has existed and then some. In fact, it has always burned and always will—something the human psyche struggles to comprehend. Maybe the mystery of it all is part of the meaning of our existence?

Speaking of mysteries, isn't sleep a peculiar thing? We leave this world and find ourselves in many others. "It was just a dream," you'll hear people say, but what if life is just a dream and there is something deeper encoded within the outrageous places of our subconscious dreamscape?

Last night, I dreamed my vision was being tested at an eye doctor. It wasn't a typical checkup where they just test the strength of your eyes to update your prescription, but they were testing to see if I would be allowed to choose a pair of glasses at all. Once I passed those tests, they even watched to see if I would choose the correct pair meant for me. Naturally, I picked out a pair of frames with bees on them, but there was something else to these frames. They had giraffes on them, too. They were excited I chose the right one but told me it would take time to custom fit them.

While I waited for my new glasses to be prepared, I was led into a mansion that was a blank canvas inside. I stood at a control table, designing a grand community room for dancing, creating art, and conversation while guests slowly started to arrive. It didn't take long for the space to fill. I moved on to creating a smaller, more intimate space with nature photography all over the walls, plants, and a space for bathing—an escape for myself when I needed it. The longer I was in this room, I grew hungry.

I went to a store that had a long line of people waiting outside for their orders to be taken and filled. I bypassed much of the line and was invited into someone's truck to wait. Once I got in, she got out of the line, driving in circles around the parking lot saying she was hungry even though she had just made the wait longer. I realized I didn't have to stay in the truck going in circles with her. So, I returned to the shop.

I was let right in this time. Inside, a man was waiting for me. I told him I wanted dreadlocks, but I have a sensitive scalp. He reminded me that while it might hurt in the beginning, I have tolerated greater pain my entire life. Because of my perseverance, I can have whatever I want. As he started the slow process of transforming me, I saw a vision of an albino squirrel.

I woke up and immediately came outside with my laptop to begin writing this.

This dream may sound like a lot of nonsense to you beloved reader, but for me, it was a powerful message about the culmination of the experiences of my life thus far and what is to come.

My vision for my life becomes clearer the more I elevate my perception which each test I face. I want my life to be wealthy in the things that matter most to me—community, play, art, nature, relaxation, and genuine connection. These are the things that feed my soul, but I can't have them by staying in isolation my entire life. I have allowed others and aspects of myself to distract me from where I want to be with cycles of confusion, but I don't ever have to stay in that. When I choose to stay true to my soul, my purpose, that is when I become who I was always destined to become, beautifully shaped by pain that I have refused to let break me.

The albino squirrel is more than just an image in my dreams. I saw it once here in the material world when I was fifteen at the end of a long, traumatic weekend that sent my life spiraling down a very dark path for a long time. In that moment, I felt so dirty and unworthy, but the white squirrel represents purity, cleansing, and preparation. I didn't understand it at the time, but without the filth, how would I learn to clean myself? How would learn to guide others towards bathing? The trauma was preparation for everything I am meant to hold in this life once the purification takes place. Coming clean about what I endured over that weekend was one of the first steps along my purification process which I have written about in my memoir you may read one day if you so choose.

The universe works in mysterious ways. Experiences that seem completely unrelated on the surface but on a deeper level are part of this elaborate domino effect.

From being hit in the head with a trophy to find yourself sitting in a hospital speaking to a paramedic about shamanism while he tells you sometimes the most powerful medicines and teachers don't come from institutions, degrees, or certifications. From a car accident that gives you the courage to stand up for the well-being of a child even if it means becoming the villain in the story of someone you love. Trying a new restaurant that leads to a conversation about someone else's story of not knowing how it all would fall into place but sticking to it while God made it happen along the way. Dating someone that destroys your confidence in yourself and your dreams to later find yourself sitting at a puppet show being blessed by a mystic healer right when you needed it most after running into your past partner again. Using old videos to bring words to life only to realize you have already found members of your soul tribe and didn't recognize them until the moment was right. They knew you would wake up one day soon and choose to embody your soul. It came to them in a dream.

There is so much more I have pieced together, but I will save the details for my book.

What I want to leave you with, beloved reader, is encouragement to believe in yourself and keep choosing love. Your dreams do not have to make sense to anyone but you. They were not designed to be held by anyone else. Others want you to make them believe even if it looks and sounds like doubt. You must be more than a believer for it to manifest in reality for others to see. You must know your dreams already exist and find the timeline where you live them.

Life is this winding river leading back home to the depths of our soul's source. It flows in whatever direction we choose, but the ending is always the same. The river does not stop moving just because the water gets rough and full of rocks. It moves quickly through those areas of its travel, carving its way to the calm waters where it moves slow and steady again. It is all about the journey, not the destination. We all get back to the ocean eventually, so enjoy the ride. Be the captain of your vessel.

While you float, consider all that you have experienced. It has been a becoming of who you are in this very moment. If you don't like who you have become, where you are at, or where you are heading, you can always forge a new path forward. The energy flowing within you is just as powerful as the mighty river because it began from the primordial, cosmic ocean.

Trust the process.

https://youtu.be/zo34kojMO1c

Bee curious, question everything.

Stay sweet honeybee.

Sting when it counts.

—Everbee Honeywell, Electric Honeypot 💜🐝♾️

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